Finally my birthday has arrived

Thank goodness! All that drinking mission I have been on all week can cease now:-) Meeting Mr Wray & Mr Nephew many times (see image left) on Saturday night was the penultimate conclusion to a mission finely executed methinks. Although the hangover yesterday was, to say the least, messy;-)

All said and done I have woken up today, a year older and feeling a bit subdued at the moment due to having intense feelings about my brother.
But hey, I'm having the best Chinese in Sussex tonight and friends are coming over. I shall try really hard not to drink one single drop of alcohol:-) I wonder if I shall succeed:-)

Wrong side of the bed

It's my birthday on Monday:-) I decided to give myself a mission this week as I'm on leave. To get 'mashed up' and 'lean' every single day. (literally drunk and or under the influence of any drug going).

By Tuesday I thought I would have to give in to this challenge. (comments like "you're getting old mate" are currently rampant).

However, I seem to have managed to carry a lovely weed overkill hangover type feeling into this here morning.

What freaked me out in the night is that I went to bed on the wrong side.

I usually sleep on the right side of the bed and He-who-shall-not-be-named on the left.

Not last night.

Not only did I sleep on the left, but also upside down, so I couldn't dream properly because my brain got all confused, and it felt as if I was on a boat getting sea sick!!??

Weird.

Don't know what that was all about.

Tell your doctor you're bisexual

After reading this article about lesbians, gays and bisexuals feeling a tad nervous about disclosing their sexuality to the doctor, it got me thinking.

Would I tell my doctor?

Why should I tell my doctor?

I know that people are continually making assumptions about my sexuality, which I immediately dispel, most of the time. I have yet to hear of a heterosexual person marching into a doctor, dentist, or off licence for that matter, shouting at the top of their voices that they are hetero.

My doctor is a leech. You can imagine him trying to undress you with his eyes.

God help me if I told him I'm bisexual as well.

I'm a racist get him outta here

Jaysus. (already you know it's gonna be grim when I start a sentence with the Irish one!).

Went to the Crap Pub last night with He-who-shall-not-be-named. The pub is in fact, not that crap at all but the name has stuck.

There was the usual Original Nutter, barely able to prop up the bar, let alone himself.

There were a few Fishermen type grandads.

Couple of Goths.

One girl.

IT men (meaning computer types, not wannabe celebs).

Bonded with the IT men as you do, over a pool table. More accusations of me being a hustler. Sigh.

One IT man in particular came up with this stupidly, unbelievable introduction.

"Hello. I'm a racist but I want to explain why."

I thought "Is he 'aving a laff" (in true Extras style)

Hell no!

He continued to tell me 'his' history of Worthing, which included things like "there were no black people", and "my mum told me you were strange" Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

Yada.

Even more yada.

I could not see the point of this conversation. He went on and on and on, without ever reaching a conclusion.

It seems he wanted me to save his soul and apologise for my being here or something. I really just do not know. The guy was even my peer. He should have more sense.

I told him if he wanted to 'be my new best mate' then coming up to a black bird and telling her you're a racist, is not exactly the right way to go about it.

FFS.

Tasty breasts

I love it working in the Candy Shop right now. I am planning to leave shortly, to get my real weekends back, but until then, I'm loving it.

A total babe came in today.

She had the perfect breasts.

Long hair.

Dressed funky.

It was such a pleasure to see. She did not lay her breasts on a counter like a fat bird would. (see above) (they soooo just don't get it). I just got a 15 second glimpse. Ok. A very long, unprofessional stare:-)

Personally I am wondering how men cope with the breast thing.

If you want to be a gentleman, and not a leering, anorak, git, how do you appreciate fine breasts in style?

Candy Shop Girl Part 2

OK. So I did what I felt scared to do. I didn't think that Candy Shop Girl would come in twice in two days, but she did! I was waiting for her all day and not actually believing that she would come, but, she did! Caught me completely off guard, so I was kind of a stupid-blubbering-girl kind of thing. Grrr.

I asked her what she thought about the pub next door. (This was the only way I could think of to kind of ask her out for a drink in a platonic way).

Unfortunately, she thinks it's crap:-( (No way of enticing her in there then?).

The question that I hadn't asked her, that I wanted to know the answer to, was, if you remember, whether she had a boyfriend.

She told me. I didn't ask. It just came up.

She met her boyfriend at the crap pub next door.

Hmmm.

Should I still try and 'woo' her anyway, which is my style:-) Or just leave it?

Madonna Madonna Madonna

Madonna may not usually make statements, well neither do I. I rarely comment on 'hot topics' but today I read the complete Madonna statement
and felt a tad miffed. Phrases like "I want to open my door" and "million orphans blah" don't sit well. It conjures up images of a childminder stepping up her game a little and Baby David is not exactly an orphan.

It doesn't smell at all like adoption to me. Not one bit.

Are Becky and Mel letting all the sides down?

I'm disturbed. By two topless models who are 'apparently/allegedly/whatever' together.

According to our beloved The Sun they will be doing all future shoots together. So they are a 'proper' pair.

Is it just me or is this weird and smelling like media propaganda wrapped up in chip wrap?

Whether I am with a man or a woman and in love 'forever', it spells disaster if I shout out to everyone that my I has become we and this is for every single thing I do? No offers, diversions, temptations, lottery tickets or favours.

Does anyone know this pair? For real?

Although some would say why should they have to justify anything about their relationship. I would have to beg to differ.

Just ask/read/ The Sun and you will understand my concern:-(

Hot totty may want me:-)

Maybe I'm on a roll. Maybe because it's my birthday month. Maybe I got the signals wrong but you decide.

A hot babe (in looks anyway) has come in two weekends on the trot to the Candy Shop where I work. I think she is only coming in on Saturdays and not Sundays.

She was all chatty last week and introducing herself (whilst I was secretly thinking her behaviour was a bit too close to familiar, nutty clients from my previous Government job, but I digress). She's from France or Spain or some European corner where the customs are a bit more lively and open than here.

This week, i.e today, she comes in and is chatty and asking me how I am ( and actually meaning it). She made direct eye contact the whole time.

She left.

Ten minutes later she was back.

Huge queues due to the lottery rollover. Two people on till. She decides to step out of the queue as she quickly realised that she wasn't going to be 'served' by me;-) She jumps back in when it's my turn:-)

She chats some more. Extra smiles, extra eye contact which made me pause and think...

Does Candy Shop Girl actually fancy me?

Shall I ask her out for a drink to the pub next door next time I see her?

P.S I haven't forgotten about Baby Girl either, who is texting me quite a lot and telling me lots of naughty things:-)

Smells like sweet pussy

"I got me some pussy, some pussy, some pussy. " she says, grinning from ear to ear.

Baby Girl is her name:-) (obviously my creation, but hey, this is what she calls me).

Finally I got me an older woman on Monday night. I cannot believe I was celebrating my mate, Dudette's, birthday until 6 in the morning, much pussy eating involved, with this crazy woman I met outside the club.

Tongued and danced all night.

She also announced that she is bi too which turned me on even more. (none of that "oh I've never slept with a woman before can you help me crap!")

Things got too much for us and we went to the toilets and were gone a long time, which obviously got the bouncers thinking we must be up to something. (which we were)

Imagine our surprise, as I raised my head, to see a bouncer's face looking down on us, grinning from ear to ear. God knows how long he'd been there!

He ordered us out, as any good bouncer would do, albeit reluctantly.

Natural progression was back to her house.

I am still buzzing and cannot for the love of God, stop grinning.

Hong Yun Chinese Restaurant Worthing

It was my friend's birthday yesterday, and apart from the usual Vodka drinking to excess and me reconfirming with her whether she wants to shag me yet, we all partook in a scrummy Chinese takeaway.

This has to be the best Chinese ever sold in the whole of Sussex. If you ever find yourself in Worthing then please ring them. Then wait for a taste of paradise to arrive at your front door.

The reason?

The food is cooked with love and warmth.

You can feel it.

You definitely taste it.

Next time I have some I 'll try and remember to take photos.

How good is your fave takeaway?

Weed shortage in Worthing and surrounds

Weed is not my drug of choice as many will know. However, it seems the police are doing a bloody good job of taking it out of circulation. The shortage, well, complete lack of full stop, of the drug, in Worthing has interested me somewhat.

It's down to the behaviour of half my friends.

You don't even realise that half the people you know are walking around in a purple haze half the time until something like this happens! Everyone looks just that little bit healthier. Eyes a little more sparklier. However, their mood is pretty psycho.

You've got people in Liverpool coming down here because up there is dry. Just of weed. Then they are stunned when there s none here either.

Usually there are big headlines when the police 'go on one', but this seems like a silent, sinister, 'we're gonna get them quietly' kind of initiative.

Is anybody finding the same thing in their neck of the woods?

Or is Sussex just unlucky?:-)