Tuesday, July 27, 2004

A pause for girl on girl hot sex.

Apologises for not having written about the meeting of TG (Text Girl for those not in the know) on Sunday. Have been on a sexual buzz since then. Sorry for not taking the time to pause whilst I was licking up some tasty sugar. The lesson was truly learnt. If people do not put themselves on an attractiveness scale, without anyone asking them to, then this means, you could be nicely surprised. As I was. Ok. That was an English under, under statement.

Text Girl is more gorgeous than my mind could have ever imagined (and I have a lot of that up there let me tell you!). Breasts to make you go "ooh" and a body fitter than Kwikfit. So I was speechless for, like, an eon or two.

Took TG to The Shack and to my utmost horror, first the owner "went on one" chasing TG like a puppy does his tail. Telling me about what a babe she is (as if I didn't know) and then secondly, the crazy woman I met last week in there was also there. Trying to snog me again. In front of TG.

I was shaking my head in complete disbelief.

Luckily TG was cool.

We even got to the crucial 2nd phonecall stage where she suggested we drive to Brighton today. Which we did. With the kids. Mine. She has none. Was fab.

She's gone home now but will be back later.

Maybe she is keen for round two tonight?

Better change the sheets. Just in case:-)

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Cooking with the text girl

Finally got the courage in the bag to call New Text Girl, forever known as TG. Turns out she lives in Bognor (and never been to Butlins, oh lucky girl!). She is 'street' as I first thought by her voice, but it seems she is on my level. Can't belive it! What I really cannot believe is her description of herself.
Mediterranean. Long black hair (forgot to ask about her eyes), tanned....sounds rather yummy to me. Plus (and there is indeed a plus).
She's a nurse.
We meet on Sunday.
She is completely nothing like the minger of last week.
Thank God.

Sexual dream about JASON JAYSUS

Slightly off the point BUT.

More of a personal note to myself that I am watching too much Big Brother.

Last night I was awoken at 3 A.M by a very sexual dream about Jason. If you are not one of the addicts to this BB then that's good. However, those who do watch it, know that I have a serious problem.

I totally disowned my own husband for this man.

Can't believe it.

Am disgusted.

Simple as that.

Monday, July 19, 2004


I went out all weekend, each night blurring into the next without missing a beat. So it's obviously clear that I would arise to the beauty of Monday, with a spot on my arse. Never in my life have I had one of these beauties. Fascinating.
I went to The Shack as usual because of the Jamaican Rum and the Red Stripe both being in the same bar. Bliss.  On the Friday I was fully charged with double shots of Rum and pulsating with crap drugs turning me on turbo charge. We ran out of money, as girls tend to do, but we wanted one last shot. So, I asked 'John', who was most definitely the shy punter type. The type that would be in and out quietly in three minutes flat, fifty quid quietly laid on the bedside table and a 'thank you' as he left kind of bloke. He bout us the round. I told him no matter what mental state I was in , I would be back to drop off his money. He just smiled. Of course he didn't believe me.
I felt so smug returning the next night. Hubby on my arm. Plus John's money.
Not all girls are bad:-)
Met a totally mental woman on the Friday and she snogged me. Twice. I've got her number...

Monday, July 12, 2004

New text girl on the block

A new girl has left a message on my expensive 10 zillion quid per breath mailbox. The curious thing about her is that she says (as one of her introductory sentences) that she is 'straight'. (so why call me?). She wants to feel 'the edge of a woman'. (could someone please enlighten me as to the meaning of that little chestnut?

You know what?

I feel a krank alert coming on...

Movie sliding it's way through my letterbox tomorrow (which I actually want to watch): The Fighting Tempations Methinks there is a subliminal message in their somewhere.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

100 girls breasts on your noticeboard.Bit much?

My ex guitarist has a noticeboard. A special one. Am wondering if it is a 'man' thing or a 'nutter in the making thing', or even 'something bi girls should invest their time in' kinda thing. All the women he has ever slept with in his 30 plus years are displayed on this noticeboard. No faces. Just different attire featuring 'da breasts'. He knows who everyone is just by the photo of the breasts. Should I be disturbed?


Should I take up this fascinating pastime?

Definitely. Maybe.

Naughty ex girlies

Spoke to Miss T last night. My Ex. She is currently shagging two girls. Separately. Without the other knowing. Yet. I am going to visit her in August, just to give her clit a good clean out. She can't wait. Apparently. She is the best sex that I ever had with a girl. Of course I'm going back for more. Never say no. That's my motto.

Book currently taking up all my time on the loo: Budda Da

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Fly the flag why don't ya!

I am not American and do not wish to be. I think to understand an American is exactly on a par with trying to understand Catholics or Muslims. Or even Christian. I think you have to be one to 'get it'. As one not being particularly keen on Americans, I can say from one experience (which equals 100 percent) that the best shag I had with a girl was with an American lost and wandering in Munich. She was a dominatrix with a whip. Good looking. Sparkly, twinkling, naughty eyes and all the experience you could wish for. She tied me up and blindfolded me in 0 - 60 so fast, you just about managed to catch your next breath. She was good. Very, very good.

Movie am watching and no one else should: The Rock

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Threesome thoughts

I wonder why men think that as a bisexual girl this automatically means there is an imaginary sticker/lightbulb/neon sign (delete as applicable) on or above my head, stating threesome alert? I have nothing against threesomes but this is besides the point! The point is that men really need to think further than their todger.(Hard to do I know)...

Movie to watch tonight: Head of State