Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Murder number 2 on my Worthing street

I just cannot believe this is happening again. Another murder. Last night. If you want to know about the first murder from outside my window kind of perspective, click here.

Obviously my street is filled with unpleasant people, bad magnetics or too much drugs (of which no-one is sharing with me!). Probably a mix of all three I reckon.

When the police knocked at my door at 2.15 this afternoon, I thought they were going to arrest He-who-shall-not-be-named for unpaid parking tickets, so I was silent because obviously I didn't want to dig my own hole.

He was actually very attractive as it goes;-) Maybe that was why I lost my tongue:-)

Tells me that someone died last night and it happened in between 8p.m and 2a.m. Wide gap for things to occur methinks.

The one time that I don't get any calls from people or hear anything and it's a murder. I even told Mr Bobby that I am shocked that I did not know already that something had happened.

One cameraman has been so far.

Maybe tomorrow there will be more. At the moment there are just vans of police all day.

Tomorrow is He-who-shall-not-be-named's birthday. A few of the lads are coming over to celebrate and smoke.

Mr Bobby says to me that anotherMr Bobby will return tomorrow night to continue interviewing the teens in my house.

I don't think so..says I.

Can't you come back later instead?

We haven't got the staff.

How about between 5 and 6p.m tomorrow then?


Thank God for that.

Can you imagine. A room full of smoke with Bobbies at the door?


Saturday, September 23, 2006

Girl on girl tongue fest = angry boyfriend

Yep this ole chestnut reared it's head last night. I know I am attracting, finally, older women at the mo but the twist in the triangle was that her boyfriend is 23. She is 47 or something mental like that. Good on her is what I say. Name for today is Ice Maiden, although she was quite the opposite in behaviour.

Isn't it nice when a woman just jumps you, maybe because they are feeling particularly horny that night and just want something different or new? I love it. She was all over me. Tongue down my throat every minute. Crazy eye conversations. I felt particularly naked at one point in the bar...

Cut to boyfriend leaning at the bar getting more and more agitated.

He tells me to cool it with his bird. (cheeky mare!).

I attempt to stay away from Ice Maiden but she follows me everywhere and starts touching up my bum. I was enjoying it but was thinking at the same time that I was going to get my head kicked in by her boyf at any second.

So he steps in again but confronts Ice Maiden this time. (good).

"Are you turning lezza now or what?" he asks, in proper English, like.


It was an episode of real life Eastenders to say the least.

The pair went home to row after that, and probably have sex or something.

I was left, laughing my head off at such a classic, comedy couple.

Am I too much of a snob when it comes to women?

Monday, September 18, 2006

Fabulous tickle fest

I couldn't resist this:-)

Fire on Worthing Seafront

Big fire yesterday in Heene Mansions (listed buildings), which is a prime location in Worthing. Top floor flat went up (girl works in Spar round the corner, and is distraught about losing all her possessions, obviously). There were a massive amount of fire engines present, mainly because they were unable to put the fire out with the usual amount. Everyone is wondering what was in her flat that was so toxic.

People were evacuated and this was the excitement we had down in ole Worthing yesterday.

Hey ho.

Identity Fraud It happened to me

I noted in my previous post that I had a few scenarios recently which have made my blogging intentions go right out the window. The second of these aforementioned scenarios (read disasters) is Identity Fraud.

You know you read about these things happening all the time and at no instant do you think that it will happen to you. Well it happened to me. I only realised something was wrong when I checked my account online to see how much I would withdraw later for my leaving do shenanigans.

Lo and behold, my account read nought, zero, nada. Obviously if I had my webcam set up at that precise moment you would have had a sorry sight to behold:-)

Rung up bank and they proceeded to list a ton of transactions via Paypal that I had not made.

My card had been cloned at a cashpoint.

Whoop di doo.

I have to wait three to four weeks before I get my cash back.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Wedding of the year 2006


Wandered where I have been? What I have been playing at by not writing regularly? Well I have had a few scenarios which have been consuming up a lot of my a) anger and b)tongue usage;-)

First the wedding. September 9th.

Bride and Groom decide to get married. Groom doing it for the second time. Stupidly invites his 'mate' that is also 'mates' with Missus Numero Uno. Maybe it's the fact that Groom and his 'crew' all hail from Essex, but Matey decides to let rip at Groom (in front of Missus Numero Deux) about how funny it is that they meet again at a wedding for the Groom and is Groom really sure that he's picked the right wife this time. Matey continues to let rip, also bringing up things about Groom's kids. I might add that the whole conversation was topped up with Matey poking Groom in the chest with every sentence.

Naturally Groom flipped. Jumped Matey, both on the floor with Groom attempting, quite seriously, to strangle Matey. At this point, a guest separated the two. Like in a Western, both were mouthing off at each other from opposite sides of the Banqueting Hall. Matey must have said something just a little bit extra below the belt, which made the Groom flip again.

This time he throws a chair across the room with the intention of doing damage to Matey. Aim went out the window and hit Matey's Girl (who's tongue had earlier entertained my mouth and lips and...yes..that's another story!). Hit her in the head. She fell off her chair, head split open. Hotel panicking like a good un' called ambulance (Matey's Girl needed stitches) and Police.

Groom went to his hotel suite, fuming, but wanting to consummate the marriage (one can only assume).

In storms Mental Police Man x 10 with a mission.

Handcuffed and pinned to the floor was the Groom. No shirt. Just Pants. Flung him around a shedload. Tossed him in the van. (after more battering). All this by 3 in the morning.


All unnecessary.

Even more so was the morning breakfast (with Groom of course as still in Worthing Nick), which ended up with Matey showing his face, wanting breakfast (with the rest of the marital party sitting there). However Best Matey of Groom stopped that by jumping up and grabbing him by the neck and throwing him out of the hotel.

Shaking my head I am.

The thing that shocks me about all this is that the Groom wasn't even a black man. He is completely white, posh speaking, public school boy type. What if he was black?

Would he be dead now or what?