Friday, June 25, 2004

What does it all mean?

Ok.There was a moment of madness. Time now: 2.09, yes, in the morning. Shazza has just left. I think she came round due to the nationwide feeling of defeat that happened tonight with the football. Let's not go there. I know about all the rules about meeting someone on the first date and how you are not to meet them IN your house. However I am not conventional and yes, I like to take risks. Okay not with my life. But still risks. She came round. When I mentioned in a previous entry about bag over the head, this is what EXACTLY what I thought when she turned up at my front door. I had warned her that I had Eve and there was no way that she was "coming round for coffee", when blood was still pouring out through my nether regions. She came round regardless.

I don't know. You know what it's like when you drink alcohol (especially to drown the odd sorrow now and again), suddenly images (including people) become beautiful. I tried to 'undrunk' myself. To bring back the ugliness that I knew existed in this face. It didn't happen. Maybe I am being nice. She says she will see me tomorrow. I have the feeling we won't. And when this happens..I think that I will actually be glad. Otherwise she will become another one of those women who "I wish I hadn't".

Only tomorrow knows.

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