Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Oompa-Loompa - Bet you want one too, like me?


This is what the girl is like. This is what an Oompa Loompa looks like and this is what this minger girl will be called for ever after. Miss Oompa for short. Jaysus. You know when you get stupid ideas that you think are clever at the time? I actually have to admit that this really was stupid.

I am obviously still alive after inviting this unknown girl to my house. But I couldn't find her when I opened the door. You know, me being 5ft 11 inches Amazon woman tall, I expected to meet someone at my eye level at the very least. Okay, maybe shoulder level. But when you open your front door and there is no one there but you hear a voice, you get worried.

I had to look down.

Very far.

To Oompa Level.

I am in shock.

I am in even more shock that this same girl has been to my house on Sunday and yesterday. She has this tone in her voice like she thinks I want to sleep with her.

Please.
N.O. Amount of Beer Goggles could make that happen.

What the hell am I gonna do?

2 comments:

Jag said...

You being heightist? Tut tut.

SteveLockwood said...

We all dig ourselves into holes from time to time - clawing your way out gracefully is the tricky bit. I think you need to make it clear to this person that you are not interested without hurting her feelings too much. "Sorry if I gave the wrong impression but..." or "You're a nice person but I don't think we're going to click" or "I like you but not in THAT way". Do this in a public place with no sharp instruments within reach and within sprinting distance of a taxi rank. At least you should be able to outrun her with your longer legs. Hope that's not too flippant - I'm (mostly) being serious.