Vomit in the city

If people wish to be pedantic, the title should really read 'Vomit in the town' because one hundred thousand people doesn't quite equate to city just yet.

Nevertheless my point is that there are some seriously sick people around at the moment. For the last couple of days, every single street that I am walking on has patches of vomit strewn across my path. It is no mean feat trying to manoeuvre with a three wheel buggy and kid in tow.

Two steps further along will inevitably be the poo that is from dog.

Either there are some real bad drugs going around this town at the moment, (in which case my favourite buddies The Ole Bill, need to get into action), or there is just one big, bad mean mo fo running around town winding me up with their smelly arse and bad gut.

Worthing is such a lovely place..

War of the cunts

I haven't written for a while because I have been at war.

He who shall not be named and I have split. He took his Princess daughter with him.

Basically. I threw them out.

He had me arrested in the process.

Before I was pro police (like an idiot I see now).

Now everyday I wake up and shout "Babylon!".

I am suing the police as we speak.

I will fill in the gaps real soon.

Be gentle with me;-)

Black.History.Month. What is there not to understand?

The whole month of October is Black History Month.

Do I need to write this in capitals or is it easy to understand just like that I wonder?

A 'colleague' yesterday asked me what I was reading.

"Events that are on in Worthing celebrating Black History Month" said I.

"What does that mean, Black History Month" replied the intelligent 'colleague'.

"Black dot History dot Month?" queried I with as raised an eyebrow as I could get.

"Oh. I didn't know."

What she meant was that she did not know that we had any history.

Sick.

Especially as she has the blondest hair..EVER.

Walkers godamn crisps

I have a serious problem with these crisps. So much so that I found myself ranting on a daily basis about the change to Sunseed oil usage in their creation. WTF?

The final point came when I started to throw away packets of the stuff at work.

I have also seen people do the same thing.

So. I decided enough was enough and I wrote to Walkers telling them about the mentalness of changing the flavour of basic stuff such as Cheese n Onion and Salt n Vinegar. Made me feel better. I did actually tell them that I was too upset to even begin to comment on the state of Doritos because I was too upset.

If I was too upset then. Think how deranged I am about the bullshit response I received below

Thank you very much for your recent email about Walkers Crisps.

We really appreciate hearing from our consumers who take the trouble to let us know their preferences regarding our products. We would never make any changes or additions to any of its product ranges without conducting a
tremendous amount of research.

We did change sunseed for Walkers Crisps in January 2006 and since then feedback from the research carried out has been overwhelmingly positive.

We hope that you will remain a loyal consumer, enjoying many products from our range.

Thank you once again for taking the trouble to contact us with your opinion; it is very valuable to us and very much appreciated.

Regards


Ann Harby
Consumer Care Team
Freephone: 0800 274 777

I think they need to change their feedback research team because the word on Average Joe Street is that these crisps taste like a bunch of shite now.

Smoking ban and my problem with it

I smoke. Therefore I am pissed right off. Since Sunday 1st July 2007 when this wonderful law was passed without my or anyone one else's yay or nay. The people that actually count are those who are not voting in The House of Lords or The House of Commons or wherever they do the dirty tango.

I am deranged with the fact that the lack of choice is present. The freedom to choose has been omitted. Not just by humble folk but by businesses across the board. What is wrong with having smoking bars or clubs or pubs (by choice) with some clause that says maybe "don't even think about suing us like them dumb Americans get away with because you knew from the start" type thing?

Nothing.

Everyone would be happy.

On top of all this the knockon effect today appears to be that the Worker Man's Club opposite me has increased in noise volume by 100 percent because they are smoking outside and having a laugh and a natter. This means as a local resident and not as a smoking member of the aforementioned club..I am doubly pissed off.

Think I am gonna call Environmental Bloody Health.

Bastards.