Jonny B gets mag mention..yay!

I just received my latest issue of Webuser (I don't think it is in the shops until 3rd Jan) and there in full glory was a 'thumbs up nuff respect' mention of Jonny B's Private Secret Diary. (It's in my list of daily reads on the right if you wish to check it out).

Page 20 of Webuser eh?

Nice one Jonny.

The evilness of girls;-)

Couldn't help sharing this piece of genius which I originally found here.

Blimmin cybersex

There I was minding my own business. Surfing. When I got an Instant Message. In the afternoon. Early. Today. I had no alcohol running through my veins. I lacked all courage. I was, after all, minding my own business.

So.

Janice. Decides she will message me on the off chance that I might be up for a bit of cyber sex.

First she entices me with tittle tat.

Then she excites me with innocent photos (apparently) of her.

Next she interests me with the quality breasts she clings to.

Top.

Quality.

All the while that I am having this conversation with Janice I am attempting to video capture my 4 year old in his Nativity play using Windows Movie Maker.

Of course my mission failed.

You never saw those breasts.

I did.

They were good.

They were fine.

However. She ruined it by getting all cyber on me.

Don't you just hate that?

Sugababes

Yes I am actually writing about them - The Sugababes. Lately the pants that I have been hearing on the radio from them is beyond words. Actually you could describe it in one. But let's not.

What I do want to say is that I have discovered their 2000 album One Touch which is fabulous and quality. I am feeling Lush Life and many other tracks (in fact all of the tracks).

This is an album worth buying (or downloading;-)) because at least now I want to see them live. However I am scared that if I go and see them live they will play all the shite I am hearing on the radio online and off by them.

That would disappoint me greatly.

Hmmm.

I am a groupie after all, as well as a live performer, but I feel a bee in my bonnet developing about them right now.

I think I am gonna go with the flow on that one.

I WILL MEET THE SUGABABES.

Brazilian girl cock up

Things I should have said/done when I met a tasty, shagable (yes, this girl does use such terms), Brazilian girl on the train last night with all my kids and husband in tow:

1. Asked for her number.
2. Held eye contact even longer than I did.
3. Asked to take a photo of her for research.
4. Given her my number.
5. Spoken to her even longer to find out just where in London she is staying for the next few months.
6. Found out if she is going clubbing in Brighton in the near future.
7. Sorted my life out and not been shy. Grrrr. I hate when shyness kicks in as essentially I am the complete opposite.
8. Asked her for a future meet somewhere. I'm sure she would have said yes.
   

Post secret

Some people may have heard of this site where secrets are told by people sending them in on a postcard in a creative way. A site full of depth and interest I reckon.

It's updated every Sunday.

Becky and Mel Page 3 'Lesbians'

I just read this (topless photos as well as words when you click that link warning) about two Page Three Models in The Sun newspaper. Articles like that just annoy me.

First, the breasts on both girls "ain't all that". I like a pair that are, you know, special;-) (she says whilst licking her lips).

Actually I would have to put both of them in my Minger catergory. Many may beg to differ but a girl being topless and having airbrushed eyes does not a beauty make in my not so humble opinion.

Second, third and fourthly...if a girl has a boyfriend and is having 'relations' with him as well as a girl or even looking/wanting/lusting for a man/boy/plaything, this does not a lesbian maketh.

This maketh one a proper bisexual.

Purple is the colour of the day.

Lesbian versus predator

For this post, I am the Predator. Bisexual and on the hunt. That's me.

The question that is on my mind is whether it is better to hunt for a lesbian or a bisexual girl.

I used to think that a bisexual girl was the easy option. The better preference.

I read with trepidation an advert on Aol Dating (which appears to be pretty interesting it has to be said), by a lesbian woman. "Sorry but no bi girls as am not interested in a keen boyfriend with his experienced girlfriend looking for fun. I want 'sorted' individuals".

I was a little shocked by this statement.

Women stating they are bisexual absolutely does not mean that they are looking for threesomes. Jaysus.

It also does not mean that a bisexual woman or man is not 'sorted'.

Yeah, it may appear to those who are not bi that we are greedy or undecided or sitting on the fence, and okay I do like to have my cake and eat it.

But.

I am well and truly sorted with my bisexuality and it was not an easy road to travel on. Still isn't. At least now it's fun.

Lesbians that I have met have been pretty hardcore. I believe this is to make some kind of point.

I don't actually see the point in a woman dressing and behaving like a man when they have a pussy and bleed every month.

What man does that then?

Tell me and I'll eat my bloody shorts.

Relight my fire top tottie

I have had a long suffering, drooling mouth, for Sarah Beeney. Since I was born. (Ok, maybe a bit later than birth, but it feels like for ever).

I mean, her breasts are bubbalicious;-)

Her eyes are the wrong side of naughty.

Speaks 'sexy posh' instead of 'head up own arse posh'.

Ooooh, let me at 'er.

Suits you sir.

Maybe she lives in Cambridge.

It's good to be wrong

It's good to be wrong. You get to smile when other people think you are so not funny.

It's good to be wrong. When others around you are wronger.

It's good to be wrong because then, nothing else matters.

I'ts good to be wrong and alright. On the night.

I like being wrong.

It feels right.

Yeah but no but yeah but no but

Effing kids.

My head hurts.

Minger versus Uber Minger

You know Alien versus Predator right? Well what I saw last night on Eastenders was a sight far, far worse.

What on earth are the 'storyline writers' thinking of, to spring, completely out of the blue, the ungodly visual of Naomi (Minger) kissing Uber Minger Sonya?

I have always disliked this character Sonya. Just a nasty example of what you could become if you don't wash.

The new character, Naomi, is also nasty. Big ole forehead, ridiculous whining, whingy voice, and big ole teeth.

"Oh I know, let's make a Super Uber Minger shock plot just before Christmas!" exclaims Eeedjut Storyline Man 1.

"Yep, great idea man, I second that. The viewers will love that!" says Eeedjut Storyline Man 2.

Well you know what, you stupid, bunch of Eeedjut Storyline Men?

All you did was make me physically sick.

Brighton Arts Fair 2005

I went to the Brighton Arts Fair 2005 on Saturday and it was really interesting. It is, oddly, only in its second year. My friend and I decided that Brighton appears to be a place where you would expect such things to happen as the norm but only now is the city starting to catch up with its own hype.

I have always been into all things arty but I'm going through a phase of being an art-addict-maniac-obsessed kinda girl at the moment.

Fine by me.

Not so much with the bank manager.

It is also quite true for the survey of yesterday, especially my 'weakness'. I wouldn't consider the fact that if someone asks me "Do I look fat in this dress?", and I reply "Yes" as a weakness though.

It's called The Truth.

Boo!

Your Birthdate: October 30

You have the type of personality that people either love or hate. You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken. And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted. Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved. Your strength: Your flair Your weakness: If you think it, you say it Your power color: Scarlet red Your power symbol: Inverted triangle Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Am I bovvered dough?

Today I have many options open to me. I could..

1. Go across the road and drink copious amounts of alcohol at the West Worthing Working Men's Club and fight with a Silver Surfer until I get thrown out at 11.30p.m.
2. Go to the end of my road and drink stupid amounts of alcohol in a rough pub and have a fight with a hard faced bitch until I get thrown out at midnight.
3. Go to the local village nightclub (yes, I know Worthing is a town but mentality is definitely village), drink until paralyzed and fight with oneself until thrown out at 3.a.m
4. Stay in with hubbie. Both get bladdered. Have fabtabulous sex until we fall asleep at 6 in the morning.

Decisions, decisions.

Bound and gagged

My kind of girl has always been someone who looks like Gina Gershon from Bound (no idea why everyone goes for Jennifer Tilly), with the spirit of Queen Latifah in Set it Off (one of my all time fave movies).

Maybe this is why I am having a problem here in Worthing. I'm too fussy.

Does this mix of a girl live in Cambridge?

;-)

Blogs that make you wet your pants...at least a bit

My feet are freezing. Shopping in town at the Wednesday market in Worthing was a disaster. No gloves equals no fingers left to carry anything. Promptly came home ,after having done a mere 400 steps on my Walkers free pedometer, really, really vexed.

Came online and discovered this hilariously written blog. It's British as well, which is fab. I get annoyed that American blogs that are supposed to be funny, just so are, erm, not. It must be something to do with my aversion to over use of the words 'awesome' and 'aaaaarrrgh'. Does my head right in.

So to celebrate British humour day (today, who said, I did) I am gonna link to a few blogs that I think are a bit funny and most definitely British. Can you lead me in the right direction?

I think we all need a bit of a laugh when the weather is such shite.

http://jillymel.blogspot.com/
http://www.jonnybillericay.blogspot.com/

Whatever, Minger

I think spell check would have a problem with the word 'minger'.

For those not knowing what a minger is click here.

I am wondering where the beautiful girls of Britain live. Which town would people say has the best looking babes. People are always talking about the country with the best looking women but I thought it would be nice to know where the fine British ladies live.

Is there only one town? Or are they spread all over the island?

Letter to self

Dear Self

I have noticed whilst perusing your pages that you keep writing to me. Reminding me of things. Do you know me self? I think that you do, just a little. Sometimes you feel whole. Sometimes not. A moment comes and you feel the flesh of a firm, hard, he and sometimes a wisp floats by and catches your eye that is, she.

Who says that one cannot hold a firm, hard whisper or touch a wispy, soft, flesh.

Who decides the rules self?

Is it you, or is it me?

Note from self to you: this is my 100th post. Join me as I party like it's 1999.

Where are all the nuts?

What is the world coming to when you can't get nuts and sauce with your ice cream? 

In the wee small hours bisexuality kicks in

I got aggravated.

By P2P passwords.

Why oh Why?

They even have whole forums just for password retrieval.

Jaysus.

I am aggravated.

By the fact that I haven't got a solid opinion still about gay couples marrying legally on 21 December. I mean, is this what I want to do? Is this what I would do ? I think that it is absolutely disgusting that if you have a same sex partner (and let's not even go into if you have more than one at the same time and are committed to both partners), you are discriminated against. You are. This much is fact. However, if you marry, is this not just so conservative and 'non gay'? Non radical?

I've just bit off my last nail with all this angst.

I want to know what I think. Without uncertainty.

But I don't know.

There are so many same sex partners that have been together for zillions of years including my man Elton John, and all respect goes to him and others. It just doesn't feel right to me. (the marriage bit, not being together for zillions) . If I was gay, I know I would feel stupid walking down the aisle in a white dress (for more than one reason let me tell you) and my partner for life dressed the same as me. Believe me I have seen the pictures.

'Sitting on the fence' is what some people say bisexuals are.

Well we are not.

We are just In Between Jobs.

One Red Paper Clip Story

Someone tell me why someone else is always the one to think of something fun and clever first. This is ideal. One man on a mission and a half to trade with people, starting with a red paper clip...and hoping to trade up, little by little, for a house.

Genius.

Scared. Really scared.

Last night, whilst I was standing at the back door smoking, I heard a rustle amongst the bin by the gate. A big rustle. Not a tiny mouse rustle, not even a hedgehog skittle.

My imagination has conjured up anything from a rather big cat, like a lion say, right through to a psycho axe wielding she devil type thing.

So obviously I chucked the fag and locked the door shut.

20 hours later. Meaning now.

Partner has gone to pick up kid and left the back door open.

Cue me having nicotine withdrawal.

Get up to go and have the drug.

There's some massive rustling going on in my kitchen.

I am no way going in there to be eaten by She Devil.

So I am trapped im my bedroom.

Wanting a fag and the 'Thing' out of my house.

The Kellogs Bran Flakes Challenge

I feel like a challenge. Been hungover far too much lately and apparently if I eat a bowlful of Kellogs Branflakes everyday for two weeks, I will be on top of the world. Or my money back. So I have decided to take the challenge as of tomorrow morning, till receipt locked away safely in the 'Kitchen sink handbag' and hey presto!

Here's to feeling great in a fortnight!

How to swear in 169 languages

I just discovered this site. Caution needed when clicking here especially at work!!!!

I will be brushing up on the German swear words that I haven't learnt and surprise my German partner with a good cuss or two:-) What is also of note is the Jamaican section. Very amusing.

Note to all: Pop up heavy on that link so make sure yours is turned on.

What is important in your life ?

Fun is most important in your life. Having a high focus on fun indicates that you value your own enjoyment over anything else. And there is nothing wrong with that. Your motto is we're here for a good time - not a long time. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Lemon Grass in Worthing

Hmm. I went there for Wary Girl's post birthday dinner. It's a new restuarant opened up in Worthing and to be honest, I wouldn't waste your cash. The seats are rock solid, making your once flabby butt into a flat, square pancake in 30 seconds sharp. They haven't enough waiters so you are sat there waiting for your main course long into the night.

The heat in this deceptively small joint is unbearable. We thought there was a problem with the thermostat but upon touching the radiators discovered they were off. The sound levels are as if you are in a nightclub so forget conversation. Unless you wish to share it with everyone elsse in the restaurant.

The food is ...o.k. Although to say that it is authentic Thai is a bit of a frown line moment. All the time that I was there I felt like a traitor to the Andaman.

I discovered the Andaman a couple of months ago which has new management. This is also in Worthing. Feels like it should be in London. The food is magnificent and real. They are not catering to anyone in particular. Meaning they have not 'adjusted' the food to suit us British. It is real Thai. Presented beautifully. The price is definitely right whereas the Lemongrass is unjustifiably overpriced.

I'm glad I went to the Andaman for my birthday and I know I will not be going back to the Lemongrass to eat again.

Neither should you.

Note: Picture is from the Andaman not the Lemongrass...forgot to take my camera there.

Big breasts and love handles fest

All I seem to be seeing on my daily travels in this country are big breasts and love handles. On women. This can only be classed as disgusting when the two are seen together, in my humble opinion. Don't get me wrong. I love a nice pair of breasts as much as the next bi girl but I have standards.

Why oh why do so many white English girls let themselves go like this?

The most horrific sight I was unfortunate to see this week was at Gatwick Airport. Slim girl, big breasts (so far so good). She turns and walks up the stairs so I am watching her from behind.

What do I see?

The crack.

Between the cheeks.

All the way up the stairs she trots.

Yuk. Yuk. Yuk.

Note to self: Always check the back as well as the front before leaving the house.

Auction fever with Wary Girl

Of course I haven't put Wary Girl up for auction to the highest bidder. Instead this is where we went on Monday in Lewes. I have never been to a real live one before and there really is no comparison with Ebay. The impact of immediate addiction is far, far greater.

Loads of bargains. The best piece in the place we both wanted as we share the same taste. So I let her go for it because there just isn't any space left in my house.

Thinking this Indonesian coffee table, dark wood but weighing a million tonnes, would go for a couple of hundreds at least, imagine our shock when Mr Auction Man started the bidding at 20 quid and before you could say 'eat my panties', Wary Girl had it in the bag.

We hugged each other with joy and relief.

I will definitely go again.

We had a nice day together. She appears to be in a stand off position. Waiting for me to make a move or something but I am put off by the fact that she is seeing my partner's good mate and I never ever want to sleep with him let me tell you.

If I sleep with her I am sleeping with him.

Yuk.

So. I am having to wait this one out.

weird I know.

Note to self: Hurry up and buy a bigger house

Stop celebrating birthdays over 30

I think this. Today. Right now.

Quite depressing it is too, when a market researcher knocks on my door and tells me that I 'don't fit the age bracket ' (therefore not eligible, and not interested in my opinion because maybe they are just worth less now?).

Horrified?

Humiliated more like.

Note to self: Always, always lie about your age from this day forward. No exceptions. Even when the person stares you in the face with a raised James Bond eyebrow.

Best variety sex

The best sex that I have had, I dare to say has been with a woman.

Pause.

Pause some more.

Yep. I think that this is really a true statement. I say this because I wanted to actually add (with the exception of my male partner husband spirit). However. I thought hard between those pauses and decided that there will be no exception.

Men reading this will think or feel that my male partner must not be good enough or something. However. This is all fun (for it is indeed fun, unless you are currently with a confused bi curious girlie who actually needs a slap and you too are female) because men are good and so are women. The opposite can also be true.

What I just find so hard to get my head round is that the best, and I really mean this, variety/varied sex I ever had was with an American dominatrix. That's right. The emphasis is on the former in bold not the latter.

Americans have their faults but when it comes to sex I truly believe you need to get yourself one and give it a go.

I mean, handcuffs, blindfolds, whips, sub and dom in quick reversals, moans, groans, three some interplay, blow, penetrative foreplay are all reasons why I would shout out..."Go America!"

Note to self: Wary Girl has birthday today and when I go to lunch with her tomorrow, DO NOT MESS IT UP OR BE SCARED AND BE ALL STUPID AND RIDICULOUSLY GIRLIE. Just be cool and yourself.

IMP expiry getting on my nerves

Yes. I have finally admitted it. The BBC 'Integrated Media Player' (and there's me thinking it stood for interactive but never mind) is turning out to be not as helpful as I initially thought.

Programmes really do keep expiring on me. Apparently Waking the Dead was a good tv series. I missed it all, even though it was set up to record every episode. How did I miss it? Because I happened to party just a bit too hard, two weekends on the trot, and paid the price by the 7 day expiry rearing it's ugly head.

I am sure the BBC's intention is not for people to speed watch programmes for fear of expiry? Now honestly, what is the point ot all this excitement?

I was watching the Sky+ demo last week on my tv (not because I was bored or anything but due to a re set on the digi box) and it makes much more sense for me to buy one of these than to mess around with the BBC iMP, because at least then I wouldn't miss those BBC programmes..EVER. (There is no expiry on recorded material).

Seems to me that a lot of other people might decide to give more business to Sky (and similar companies) rather than have the uncertainty of the iMP.

Song to self: Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me (Sunday gone actually, but it's a good little song that one;-))

Mormons are so predictable

Sneecough - a cross betweeen a sneeze and a cough

A higher level of issues.

That is me apparently.

My youngest sister said that. Oh she of 16 years.

I feel bad because I was absolutely horrible to the Mormons who knocked at my door at 8.pm tonight. Expecting warmth and welcome and only receiving pure and the finest venom.

They want to save me whilst I am quite busy tring to save myself.

Cyber Candy Heaven

Yesterday I went to Cybercandy in Brighton.

It just appeared. New branch and I don't know how long it had been there but I lost the plot on this tiny stash and ended up £22.00 lighter in my purse.

But it was worth it.

Somehow:-)

Talkative Girl Bitch

Why can't I sleep with all that noise. Across the street. Old Working men club together to freak. Out the neighbours seem apparently deaf. My ears just tingle. Are a mess from the noise. Intertwined with train rumbles and groans. Is it you. Again my God no.

Stop and wait. Just listen only snores. Too late to find the clothes peg through buzzing engine. Bores. Me. Car. Past me by. Left self on shore floor. Expectant. To find treasure. Revealing. Boy racer buzz my bell. Not her next door. On the floor wanting more. Pick me. I am cute. I am cute. Cuter than pie.

Why did I suggest to my own self. Get up. Do not sleep for fear of buzzing head and thoughts too deep. Round and about we go on the same train. Hoping to find questions to answers we already knew.

Sexpot Fury

My rubbish memory bank has been triggered today by this man.

Hats off to you and all that.

I think it's pointless to serve up your signature dish just to get a shag. I wasted one of those dishes on a girl that I met on the train heading back to Worthing. She lived in Shoreham which isn't more than two stops on the train. She did all the usual 'straight' girl pretending dance and in the end she asked for my number, with a twinkle in her eye.

I made her spaghetti bolognaise, but this version that I make is a distinctly Jamaican version, of which I am proud. Hot, spicy, sexy.

She came.

Ok, literally.

She ate.

Again literally.

She ate some more.

Greedy cow at this point.

Then pissed off to Switzerland the next day to be a snowboarding instructor, without even a god damn thank you.

On all counts.

Some women you just cannot forgive.

This is the best piece of comedy yet

You have received a message from Aminata (Member Id: 2388070)

Dear Madam, Hello Ma, and i tell to you that i am more than happy in your reply to my mail. How was your day.Cos' am a little bit okay as for now over here in Dakar Senegal here in West-Africa.Presently i am residing in the Humanitarian Building here in Dakar as a result of the Crises that happened right at my Country then and have been going on Secretly.So please i am still very much single an Dropped out from the Universityl.So please i do want to be free and still myself read. Thanks and please kindly try and get to know that Distant is actually nothing to do or to say ok thanks for love and truth to be and then both can come together and be as one ok. Well,my father was late Mr.Abdul Mustapha the personal adviser to the former head of State in our Country before the rebels attacked our house one fateful early morning got every one Assasinated both my parents. I managed to make my way to nearby country here Senegal where we are leaving now.And full of sorrow and help especially for life and to be loved. However,i would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes,your hobbies and what you are doing presently. Can actually discuss and as well for you to get kindly try and help me out in this terrible situation with my Late Fathers inheritance has been Deposited in a finance house. 4.5 Million Dollars.($4.5MILLION) Please am on my kneel begging for your assistance towards my situation, pls i need your full assistance in this matter, as soon as i hear from you i will give you all the details concerning the Transactions, am not writting this mail to scare you away from me, all am saying is what am passing through here. so pls if you are willing to help kindly forward your full contact address for the arrangements of the transactions. please am begging you to keep it secret and confidential between me and you. i will stop here till i here from you. And do not run away from me. Please cos' i am dying here and duly needed you as my partner forever. do not scare me away from your body.take me as your part of your body Thanks till i read from you. It 's me, Aminata Mustapha babyshrine@yahoo.com

Note to self: Remember that there are varying degrees of bull and some things do not even register on the scale of life

New Version of BBC Imp worry

There is a new version for us trialists to download but before we do that there is whole palaver to clean our computers to get rid of the old one. This includes completely deleting all downloaded files, regardless whether watched or not.

I have 30 programmes (including one film, which I have to say was in my Inbox at rocket speed) sitting there. If I delete them all, will they download again after the new install or will I have to download again? I actually want to watch what I have but I also want the new version which has been updated with all the little tweaks that users have reported. (However I don't think they will be doing away with the 7 day expiry any day soon).

I have a plan.

I am going to move all those programmes onto my external hard drive and see if that will keep them. The worse that can happen is my hard drive gets buggered:-)

Any other suggestions on how to get round this would be appreciated.

Butterscotch Tart Oh yeah

In fact, can I hear a hell yeah! I made this yesterday. I am suffering though as it had to be chilled in the fridge overnight before it is perfectly ready. Am off down the shops later to get me some custard and pig right out later. Hopefully it will be the dogs....

On the Wary Girl front, everything seems to be running along quite nicely thank you very much. She doesn't understand why I fancy her (although she is pleased with that fact). I think she's just being a tease on that score though as she sooooo knows that she is sexy and gorgeous.

I'm down wid that.

Note to self: Cut down on listening to so much Hip Hop.

Best fish n chips is in....

Worthing! (ish).

I really cannot give away the exact position because I absolutely do not want tonnes of tourists turning up and nicking my table, or using all the tartare sauce, before I get mine! No way.

I can say that the fish is 'catch of the day', there was a choice of fresh haddock, huss or skate. I had haddock. The batter was like none I have ever seen in my life, with no oil, grease or break in the smoothness of the batter. I am still trying to figure out how they make it like that. Plus the chips were top class, however I daren't say they are the best in the world, but I do dare to say that about the fish.

Cheeky ain't I?:-)

Wary Girl Caution

Hmmmm.

I told Wary Girl that I want to shag her.

She has a new haircut today that I haven't seen but am sure that I will love when I see it. She said that she wants to shag herself because of her hair, and then me, stupidly said that I want to shag her not her hair.

Jaysus.

How do I get out of that?

I am shaking my head in disbelief that I told her something so bloody obvious.

Help!

Am I a hustler?

I have just kicked arse in a pool club. Well actually if anybody from England is reading this then I can actually say "a working man's club' and you will know what I mean. I wasn't, however, playing old gits. There was some young, new blood in there tonight considering that England just beat Poland, but this is what they said to me.

Just because I was Queen of the table does not make me a hustler. Or does it?

I am just good at pool and happen to be a girl.

If I was some fat bloke with a moustache and was "da King" all night then I am totally sure that I would not have been called a hustler.

Mood: pretty much peed off.

Seems like I'm really special to have BBC iMP

I just received an email of which I was just going to copy and paste on to here but this little clause at the end made me a bit ditthery, "Any unauthorised copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly forbidden."

So instead I will paraphrase.

Seems like there is a technical hitch in distributing to the 5,000 that were chosen and quite a lot are still waiting to test the player. They may have to wait until the end of October (which is incidentally my birthday) before they can play.

I will just take it as an early birthday pressie from the BBC.

I have been testing from the start and my first niggle is actually the 7 day expiration on programmes. I knew this was how the player is meant to run but I think what would be better would be if the programme has already been downloaded then you should be allowed to watch when you feel like. Twice now I have had to delete programmes before watching because they have expired.

You see if these downloads were eventually counted towards ratings then they would not be accurate, if no one had actually got to watch what they downloaded due to expiry.

Second niggle is that I have had a few script errors when rating programmes, or even when deleting programmes. But hey, this is still in Beta so hope they sort these issues out before full release.

Nothing else bothering me about the BBC Imp player today.

I'm loving it, and wish this existed ages ago!

Are you bisexual quiz

Found this quiz (rubbish but still) to test your sexuality , via these guys.

My results are

You scored as Bisexual. Bisexual 100% Lesbian 80% Gay

Wary girl may just need a name change

Yesterday, all day, my head was hanging off.

That's right. No association was happening between head and body. It hurt. Self inflicted? It's not the point;-)

Wary girl night was a success. It's weird but my partner told me that when he first met Wary Girl that she reminded him of my ex girlfriend but a much more glorious and fantabulous version.

When I met Wary Girl I told her this but I said that she looked nothing like my ex.

However, I must have been blind or something because she sooooo does.

I was going to go with Wary Girl to Wales as she has a funeral to go to, but the distance between head and body were far too great for me to function, so I didn't go. Instead I struggled to the shop to buy medicine.

7 cans of coke.

Wary Girl is ever such a foxy minx. Don't know what move to make next. Suggestions would be nice..including a new name as she isn't exactly Wary anymore.

BBC Imp is fabulous

I have been 'lucky' enough to be one of the testers of the soon to be released BBC interactive media player (iMP). 24 hours later and I am hooked! It is the equivalent of a Sky+ box but for BBC channels only (both TV, radio and HDTV formats) available for free on the internet.

I am not usually a tv watcher (believing there is pure nonsense available). However, when one is able to pick programmes and download them with ease and never miss an episode, on the Net, this is fab. Most of my time is spent on the computer anyway so this is perfect.

The only premise is that the programme has to have aired already on 'proper' tv and you can pick and choose up to the last seven days. You even get to rate the programmes. We all love a bit of rating don't we?

For once I have something great to say about the lovely BBC!

Go iMP.

Lust for Wary Girl

Yeah Wary Girl is becoming rather interesting to me. She has stopped turning up in short mini skirts and has now taken to trousers in the All Saints/dancer fashion. Much more my flavour. I am going out with her on Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't know if I'm going to her flat or not yet.

It's all interesting. Especially as she is a a Scorpio like myself and we are both sussing each other out.

It's all good.

As a little note to myself, I am very annoyed with Bi curious girls at the moment. I am sick of seeing on supposedly bisexual boards and forums, 90 percent of the messages being from confused women suddenly waking up to something inside. I don't believe them for a minute. It is also very boring to read the same ole, same ole all the time.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SUSSED BI WOMEN????!!!!

Rant is now over.

Pandora debate

Being British I am often bemused by the comments from Americans on websites. They are almost nearly always Scorpion in tone. Phrases range from 'awesome' and 'wow', for the obviously postive to ' rubbish' for negative feedback. No middle ground.

How very unBritish;-)

In this vein I shall comment on the Pandora player. I have been dragging my feet on subscribing because there are a few niggling things that need to be fixed.

The player tends to timeout on a far too regular basis (on average after 15 minutes), whilst it is attempting to find the next perfect song to play.

This is bloody annoying.

The database (they have a zillion trillion) is mainly American artists. It is as though this is the only place where interesting/good music comes from. This is certainly not the case.

Reggae artists are lacking.

Lots of my favourite British artists could not be found amongst the trillions of songs/artists that they have in their database, and these are not even underground ones!

For now I have decided to hold onto my $36 dollars and use this instead.

Tell the world about Pandora!!!!!!!

I had to add exclamation marks. I just had to. Pandora was launched on 29th August 2005, unleashed to the public, after 5 years of testing. I'm listening to it now. What is it? Well their blurb says this and if you love music, including excellent sound quality and are open to hear music that you love as well as new music that you didn't even know you love, then try if for free here.

Snags and annoyances about this music player I will list tomorrow, after having my full 10 hours fee trial (or there abouts!).

Photo-A-Day

Photo-A-Day
A reminder to keep checking the photography on this excellent site. i must say I am envious of the comments count!
Jammy git;-)

mickeyporkpies: run run run

mickeyporkpies: run run run

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince query

I just finished this book. Hurrah! Bought it via Amazon on the day of release and it's taken me this long. Shabby show an all that but the point is...how comes not one single pupil has come out of the closet yet?

Spam grr spam grrr

I mean is this the fashion on Blogger these days.
How inadequate and Billy No Mates does one feel when the only comments you receive are from a web spider?
Hmmm.

Lightening strikes with Wary Girl

Ok. This evening has had the skies filled with lightening for a couple of hours now but no thunder. Now the thunder has arrived, making things interesting. I've met a bi girl in Worthing who is Scorpio like me, and very, very interesting.

Bang goes the sky. Like removal men with the hump.

She is wary of me and I am curious to know why. She speaks volumes with her silence.

Petite. Brunette. Funky hair. Struggling bisexual.

Happybutterfly to the rescue perhaps?

Everyone thought the same thing today!

I thought the whole of Littlehampton beach was sand, but apparently not. Just this bit.

This was the view of Littlehampton beach a couple of days ago.

Worthing murder on my street

Ok. It has to be something to do with the after affects of the full moon why there was a murder last night on my street. All happening outside my house.

Scientific support branch is here. Police vans blocking off the road plus the obligatory blue and white police strip. Men in dark blue shirts have just passed by, a couple looking like Men in Black as they stare in my window, directly at me as I type this. Camera men have turned up.

Last night as I was breastfeeding at the window, 2 men came back home to the council flats opposite. An unprovoked attack by a 6ft white man to one of the men. Stabbed. Dead.

Opinion from the street so far is that there just has to be more to this story than we are hearing. Unprovoked doesn't seem to ring true. Maybe some money was owed or something similar.

We shall see.

Anti gay nutter without reason alert JAYSUS

So. This morning I wake up to this reply below to yesterday's post.....

(My name),Yes,I have to admit,now that you have explained your rationales,that you are right about these assumptions you are trying to avoid having ocur.Because when I think about it for a moment,IF you had not placed your picture in your ad?,then I WOULD have assumed that you were a caucasion,simply because of the statistical fact that the vast majority of respondents happen to be caucasions like myself.And also,if you had not mentioned your being bisexual,then I would have made the same assumption of your being heterosexual,and for the same statistically based reason.And then,if you had mentioned a girlfriend in a bisexual way,then I would have stpped reading abruptly,and said to myself "in what way is she meaning the world girlfriend here!!!...this does not sound like a shopping-together girlfriend at ALL! it sounds more like a Lesbianical wrestling match kind,or a me-Tarzan_you-Jane kind of girlfriend she means here!heyyy! whats THAT about!?".So,I mean,you are right about that,(my name).But you know,even though I understand what you mean intellectually,its kind of a no-win thing,anyway,though.Because this sexual orientational thing is not just an intellectual topic of discussion,that can be sorted out agreeably and satisfactorily by a simple tactic of honesty and discussion.I mean,its just too big of a thing for that!You know? *honest smile* Life is alot bigger than anything that intellectual strategies can hope to control.Because people do not operate by,or let themselves be controlled or directed by, some such Woody Allen-esque Jewish therapy oriented intellectual exercises/"education" alone.Not at all.Well,maybe in the US and UK,but not for most of humankind,I mean.People are FAR more SELF directed than that.And so,they go by their own individual feelings,and beliefs and personal sensibilities and values (and blow their noses at the Woody allen-esque intellectuals?).And most of us human beings in the world,we do not FEEL very much in common with Gays and Bis (GBLT?),or much WANT to hear about their same sex goings on,or feel friendly toward it,or want to understand it.We JUST DON'T LIKE IT!It is like this,(my name)...if I met some man and was friends with him,(based on assumptions of him,like you had meant?and my thinking that he was a heterosexual?)..and then I found out he was a Gay?Well,my entire view of him up until then would be ruined,and it would be because of that fact,and what I know about Gays.Because after that? I would know that he liked to stick his tongue up other men's rectums,as the Gays do,and so i would say to myself (or in my heart,and feelings,and beliefs)"I don't GIVE A DAMN WHAT ANYONE SAYS that he is a good man!! if he sticks his tongue up rectums,then he is VILE!".It is disgusting to me,as with a man who sleeps with children,or has sex with animls,or other things like that.And if an intellectual,or a clergy man said "Oh! don't think that way!"?,I would then kick their stupid asses through a window,tOO!Sincerely,Audrey

I haven't replied to this.
Yet.
Although it at first appears a lost cause, 'debating' with a nutter without ration nor reason.
Frankly I am speechless by this.
Suggestive responses would be appreciated, seeing as I'm the kind of girl who just HAS to respond;-)

Straight girls need a reality check

I received this enlightening email today
Hello,and thank you for responding to my ad.I looked at your ad,and I must ask you, why is it that you inform people that you are bisexual in it,as you do? Waht is the purpose of publically telling people about your sexual orientation? And also,why do you ask me if I like to travel?Are you placing your ad to find travelling sexual contacts who will visit with you? Well,anyway I am not a bisexual.Sincerely,Audrey

I have an ad on a mad site that is more epal finder than electronic shagfinder.

My ad does does not state I want to shag women. Far from it at the moment, seeing as the baby that is firmly in my belly is not out for another three weeks, and even then I would go in the real world and find a shag (as is bloody normal and usual).

Grrrrr.Straight women. Straight women. Dear oh dear.
Straight my arse.

Recycling maketh the woman

It's amazing just how nosy people can be whilst walking past your house. Instead of scrutinising what exactly goes into someone else's reusables, methinks one should get a life. Or maybe that should be me for noticing it!

Round this way we still don't have the nice big wheelie bins with lids to hide the shame of how much of an alchie one really is, so you know, we're like an advertisers wet dream with an open grey box:-(

Glorify The Fish Factory

Had my leaving do last night. Well my maternity leaving do actually. It was hard going, with lots of rolling eyes behaviour between Hubby and the only cool person that works with me.

I happen to work with a rather big bunch of divs. Who also happen to be as boring as heeeelllllll to boot.

It was chosen that we honour The Fish Factory with our presence, which is in Worthing. Nice decor and vibe in a simple-near-rustic-but-not-quite way. The food is actually nice. It being fish an all. Overpriced unfortunately for the simplicity of the food. If you're English food loving, i.e fish n chips, then this is the gourmet version!

Someone please tell me which maniac came up with mushy peas!

JAYSUS!

Heavy Weapon Addiction

Ok. I have a new game addiction. Heavy Weapon is the new release offering from Popcap Games and I had to buy it, after playing the browser version and downloading the 1 hour trial. I did try and seek it out for free on P2p but no luck. I suppose it aided my karma then by buying it.

When you play three missions of normal game play, you unlock a bonus section which is Survival mode, and it is this that is causing the addiction! Grrrrrr.

Fun.

Good.

But very bad when one needs to live a life as well.

The year of the fuck

Other than the peace that lies beneath the ground, sits hope in something, someone, somehow. Prove and show in physical spirit how this is real. Worthy. Clap the hands that feed and jump without joys. Joys inside the pocket of charity and yes I knows. Link it baby. Link it.
Go spawn.
It.

I wish the beach huts were all coloured like iin Brighton and Hove though.

Too much sun can blind you

Alright birds

I think I got quite lucky with the light here, and Worthing does look like this on a good day!

Gay pub stares me in the face

I have to say that I am a bit peeved. Just lost this entry that I had written and now having to do again. Something to do with me daring to ask for the spell checker to work, and instead it navigating me away from the current page and leaving me to cry in front of a blank page. Great.

There is a gay pub in Worthing and it isn't of the conspicuous kind either. Great big Freedom flag, cabaret and or karaoke on a Saturday. All totally inviting. Except it isn't to me because I have to admit that I am scared. To go in their alone and meet scary, and I mean scary, women who are desperate to be men.

LIke the frightening vision I had on the train going to Portsmouth (let's not even go there today!). A lesbian couple were sitting opposite the kids and I and I have to say that I felt sick.

Sick because my mouth had to dry up and my eyes watered from the ugly terrorvision that I had to experience.

I am not the kind of person to say they have nothing against ugly people.

Ugly is not funny.

Damn ugly is unacceptable.

It ain't right

Other than the peace that lies beneath the ground, sits hope in something, someone, somehow. Prove and show in physical spirit how this is real. Worthy. Clap the hands that feed and jump without joys. Joys inside the pocket of charity and yes I knows. Link it baby. Link it.
Go spawn.
It.

Sony Vaio nightmare switch

I have decided it is time, after three pain stricken years fighting, banging and pulling out of hair, that I will sell my Sony and buy a Dell. Not that I am a PC fan in the first place, but this laptop has to go. Thankfully on Friday my bank actually gave me what I wanted, which was a credit card and current account, without even batting an eyelid. Most surprised was I. So of course am going to invest in a Dell. Don't know which one exactly but hoping someone will recommend one that will cope with my download junkie addiction with ultimate ease.

So I won't be writing in here for about a week and a half I suppose whilst I wait for the card to arrive. Then it will be down to the library to buy from Dell.

Should be an experience if nothing else:-)

Why is Burnout 3 so addictive?

This game, played on a plasma screen, will keep you away from the real world for a very, long time.

Butterflies, butterflies and a sack of adrenalin is the name of this game.

Although on Ebay I have seen there a couple of real good condition Vectrex machines available in the retro section and I am dying to buy one. I think the one that we had when we were younger is down in the cellar where nobody goes...plus I'm not into mice or rats....Minestorm, Scramble..these games take me back a bit although I don't think 1982 is that far away or gone just yet. Makes me feel like I should be in a museum.
Grrrr.

Not a proper gig my arse

The Rest, (otherwise known as The Shack),Worthing
11.01.05
Advertised as Wordlitzer, for lovers of Literature. A voice for writers. A platform for poets. Plus original acoustic music. (this translates into..A place for writers to bore you to death for a couple of hours. A function room for poets to turn into sad, sad comedians. Plus sounds of a non electric nature that will disturb you well into your night's sleep.

So, fully packed with this truck load of preconceptions I head off to The Shack, hoping to have this heavy load removed from my skeptical self.

15 or so people in an atmosphere reminiscent of 'don't know what to expect mate, do you?'. I am waiting to be caught. After 5 mins I am sprayed by Dirk the poet, who makes a few smile and even laugh with his short, sharp and snappy poetry.

Up next comes the three piece Golgi Apparatus.

Say what?

Golgi Apparatus. Apparently this is in all humans. (So they wanted to bring it out of us all or what?). Jay, Jay, JAYSUS.

However, despite the stupid, stupid, never ever to be cool, name, the guitar strumming and melodies were reminiscent of an out of tune Crowded House. (the voice not guitars).

In the break, GA warn me that they will become obscure in the second half. I ask "Guns and Roses obscure?". They say no.

Were they obscure for the second half? Yes, it has to be said. Different? Yes.

When a band brings a previous guitar player out as a bloody Ewan-McGregor-bagpipe-playing-punk as a finale...You gotta hand it to 'em eh?

How to make your wee sound quiet in public loos

This is my 2005 question and quest. Been bugging me and am sure that some girls out there know the trick, which doesn't involve pelvic exercises or holding your breath for a lifetime, or in fact waiting for everyone else to leave the place.

I was using the public toilets at work the other day and this woman in the cubicle next to me had wee so loud, I was shocked into silence of my own piss.

Why does one have to pee so loud?

Can this not be stopped or controlled?

Even more annoying though is women who do Number twos in public toilets, stinking out the place to near extinction and have no shame when they brazenly walk out of the cubicle and take half an hour to wash their hands, thus confirming that yes, it was them who committed aforementioned crime.

With men obviously this means nothing, as they are quite proud of their ability to stink out a loo on a sunny afternoon. The bigger the better.

Hmm.